A few years ago, while traveling with the family between Maryland and Missouri, we passed a huge monument adjacent to I-70. Impossible to miss , a 198 ft tall cross near the highway. Being the curious type that I am, I investigated further as soon as I was within arm's reach of a computer. The cross was erected by the Cross Foundation , and the following was lifted directly from their crossusa.org website:
"The Cross Foundation is dedicated to building both faith and family on an ecumenical basis. The Cross Foundation has completed a 198 foot Cross at the intersection of Interstates 57 & 70 in Effingham, Illinois. This site is intended to serve as a beacon of hope to the 50,000 travelers estimated to pass the site each day. ...."
What really caught my attention was the "I Love You Card" program listed under the information link. Of specific note:
" Created and sponsored by The Cross Foundation, the "I Love You" Card program is designed to promote a tradition of language in the family home, which encourages feelings of comfort, acceptance and love between parent and child. Whether by tradition or culture, many children never hear the words, "I Love you" from their parents. Yet, a recent study from Iowa State University indicated that children raised in a nurturing environment were more likely to have happier marriages in later life. The "I Love You" Card Program is the first step towards the creation of the nurturing home environment."
After reading that I was stunned. Kids not hearing the words "I love you" from their parents? Nonsense, couldn't possibly be true...... right??? Again my curious nature persisted. I queried friends and co-workers..... even asked them straight out if the words "I Love You" were a part of their regular life both when they were kids, or with their own kids. The results floored me. Nearly 30% of the people I spoke with said no. In one particularly extreme case, a co-worker mentioned that he did hear those words from his father , - only once-, when his father was on his deathbed. It was incredibly sad.
Now I don't consider myself to be a particularly naive person, but this truly caught me off guard. I grew up in a home where those words were exchanged regularly, and they are exchanged regularly in our home. I truly thought EVERY household was like that. Boy was I wrong.
Anyway, ....... go hunt up your kids, parents and significant persons in your life. Tell them you love them. There is every reason to let them know, and NO good reason not to.
Oh, and by the way. I love -YOU- too.
Hey, that's just the kind of guy I am......compliments of my parents.
5 comments:
Wow, that's a really good post. :-)
It's bad enough that back in the "old days" when people didn't show their emotions in general that they wouldn't say 'I Love You' much. But for it to be the case today is very sad. I guess if it's tough enough to even wrestle a thank-you out of people nowadays, that 'I Love You' would be an even tougher thing to get.
(saying a prayer right now for all the people who need to hear that from someone)
You know I agree with you to a point. But to not say it to your own kids or parents?? I just can't fathom it. But then....it flowed freely in our house when I was a kid. Maybe I'd have a different view of all this if it hadn't.
I agree completely, there are no excuses there. Home should be at the very least, the one place where everyone feels always loved, safe, and welcome.
I just meant that even though psychologically, modern civilization should have evolved beyond the stiff crusty old ways, I suppose that in other ways it has devolved too, which is sad.
What's truly remarkable is when someone from one of these "non-emotive" childhoods actually manages to turn it around and be expressive to their own children - rather than perpetuating the pattern, (like child abuse), they stop it. Perhaps they realize the lack they had in their own childhood and know how important it is.
And although I hear what you're saying capcom, but I almost think sometimes that modern civilization actually lends itself to "stiff and crusty." After all, you can bank, shop, dine, mail packages, earn a degree, run a business....all without actually ever speaking to another soul. And some people are happy to do so.
Thanks, Ohighway for the post. I know how I feel when my 4 year old wraps his arms around me and says "I love you Mommy". We should all be so fortunate!
You're so right Rebecca, I feel like that about this so-called information age as well. And people are constantly walking around with phones or ipods in their ears and not even communicating with the people all around them. We have lots of "blahblah" information coming in, with very little real cognizance of who or what's around us, including loved ones.
I was just comparing the 20th/21st centuries to, say, the Victorian era for example, where men/husbands/fathers did not hardly even see their children and when they did, didn't express much of anything to them at all. Like you said, today we have the ability for more contact, but often actually have less.
BTW, love you all too.
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